Biography

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Trini's.
121095.
CHIJ St. Nicholas Girls' School (Primary & Secondary)
P1P, P2W, P3P, P4P, P5C, P6C
S1C, S2P, S3L, S4L
PUBLICATIONS.
Catholic Junior College
1T28
GUZHENG ENSEMBLE

What is the difference between loving and liking?

Random musings

you pulled me back
caught me and left me hanging
in your pocket
you're my worst salvation, baby.
oh i wish i was not the one to walk away
to live life your way.

Formspring

Past entries

White rainbow;

♥ January 2009
♥ February 2009
♥ March 2009
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♥ July 2009
♥ August 2009
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♥ January 2010
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♥ November 2010
♥ December 2010
♥ January 2011
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♥ January 2012
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♥ March 2012
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♥ June 2012
♥ July 2012
♥ August 2012
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♥ October 2012
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♥ February 2013
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♥ October 2013
♥ December 2013
♥ February 2014
♥ March 2014
♥ August 2014

Creditorials

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Wednesday, March 26, 2014

What hurts the most is what happens after you get off airplane mode.

You realise that no one bothered about you, no one talked to you, no one tweeted you, no one mentioned you in their instagram post or comment.

It's as if it really doesn't matter if you didn't even own a phone with data plan or rather, it doesn't even matter whether you own a phone or not because no one gives a shit about you.

No. one. cares.

If I don't get on airplane mode, I can happily lie to myself that you're busy, watching a drama maybe (I recommended it didn't I). I can stalk your last seen and maybe be upset that you went online but didn't bother talking to me or be glad that you didn't go online at all actually.

Getting on airplane mode and getting zilch notification is a whole new level.

If you thought getting ignored after stalking someone's last seen, please do try the airplane mode and get even more upset than you've ever been your entire life.

I don't know if this is too much of an expectation. Is chatting on wa too much of an expectation? Is wanting to hear about what happened in your day too much of an expectation? I don't know why but I get the urge to tell you everything that happens in my life, instantly, whatever happened at that moment. I want you to be the first to know. I want you to know if I'm happy, if I'm sad or angry or whatever.

Perhaps, the only real expectation here is to expect you to want to do the same with me.

I expect you to tell me about all your daily happenings, what happened at work, what happened in the train, did someone release the handgrip on your head again?

The real reason why I got so affected the last time you told me about your ex talking to you on wa is not because she talked to you but because you didn't tell me. I understand you don't want me to get affected but what hurts more than being affected by something like this is being kept in the dark about what is happening. okay, maybe not so much of being kept in the dark but more of, I would totally tell you the moment it happened to me if it did but you didn't tell me.

That's the biggest problem with me I guess. I expect people to do the same to me as I do unto them. I expect people to be nice to me when I'm nice to them. I expect people to put in the same amount of effort into birthday presents if I put in lots of effort for theirs, I keep count who I gave presents to and who didnt give presents to me. I expect people to reply me fast and efficiently, because I reply people instantaneously. I expect,,, a lot from people.

How on earth do you actually stop expecting so much from people? How do you be selfless and give without expecting any return?

This feeling sucks, I'm on airplane mode again. And I'm scared, I'm scared of getting off it. I'm afraid, so afraid that there'll be no notifications.

I'm afraid.