Biography

bold underlined strikethrough italic

Trini's.
121095.
CHIJ St. Nicholas Girls' School (Primary & Secondary)
P1P, P2W, P3P, P4P, P5C, P6C
S1C, S2P, S3L, S4L
PUBLICATIONS.
Catholic Junior College
1T28
GUZHENG ENSEMBLE

What is the difference between loving and liking?

Random musings

you pulled me back
caught me and left me hanging
in your pocket
you're my worst salvation, baby.
oh i wish i was not the one to walk away
to live life your way.

Formspring

Past entries

White rainbow;

♥ January 2009
♥ February 2009
♥ March 2009
♥ April 2009
♥ May 2009
♥ June 2009
♥ July 2009
♥ August 2009
♥ September 2009
♥ October 2009
♥ November 2009
♥ December 2009
♥ January 2010
♥ February 2010
♥ March 2010
♥ April 2010
♥ May 2010
♥ June 2010
♥ October 2010
♥ November 2010
♥ December 2010
♥ January 2011
♥ February 2011
♥ March 2011
♥ April 2011
♥ May 2011
♥ June 2011
♥ July 2011
♥ August 2011
♥ September 2011
♥ October 2011
♥ November 2011
♥ December 2011
♥ January 2012
♥ February 2012
♥ March 2012
♥ April 2012
♥ May 2012
♥ June 2012
♥ July 2012
♥ August 2012
♥ September 2012
♥ October 2012
♥ November 2012
♥ February 2013
♥ April 2013
♥ July 2013
♥ October 2013
♥ December 2013
♥ February 2014
♥ March 2014
♥ August 2014

Creditorials

Layout Designer:
?chocodiiction-lovesxoxo*
Others:
? ? ?

Monday, July 8, 2013

And it's back to not knowing what I want again. Just how many times do I have to go through this. Just when will I actually know what I want... And when will I stop hurting the people around me that love me. I really, don't deserve all this love.

I just simply can't see myself spending forever with someone. Not even forever, just I can't even see myself spending an extended period of time with someone. It's not like I don't like/love him. But it's just me. Perhaps like what sonia said, I only like the people that I cannot have. Which kind of sucks. Maybe I really /should/ just stay single for the rest of my fucking life and stop going around hurting the people around me just because of me and my indecisiveness and because I don't fucking know what I want. It's not like I don't like how this relationship is like, I mean it does have its problems, but it's not like any relationship is perfect. So what exactly is your problem trini? (why oh why does this sound so familiar, maybe mrs tian, you should ask me this question again. WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM, TRINI? and throw that stack of paper in my face or something to slap some sense in me when I was sec 4 or something. was she even holding on to papers, I can't remember. but uhfg whatever does that even matter now.) so yes, what is the problem. Is the problem because I just /like/ other people around me? And I always end up feeling guilty. like xy. I can spazz over just a 10 seconds direct eye contact with him. like. SPAZZ SPAZZ kind of SPAZZ. and I wonder say, everyone is out of the equation and somehow xy likes me too and we get together and,, will I still spazz over him? Maybe yes, maybe no. So it's back to me liking people that I can't have. And it's kind of back to like how when I /wanted/ to break up with isaac I was thinking about how I'll be meeting so many new people in my life /if/ I get into a university? and even if I don't get into a university, I'll still be meeting new people anyway. And it's back to how I'm a slut and how I don't have faith in myself that I can stay in a relationship without spazzing over someone else and feeling guilty. I like everyone okay. and I hate everyone too. what am i even talking about uhfg.

why am i such a slut lol.

Gen once told me that someone told her when she broke up with vincent that 5 months is actually pretty long for a /first/ relationship and the whole point is to get into as many relationships as you want to find out what exactly you want.

isn't that really selfish. but at the same time, it kind of makes sense.

but still, it's selfish.
haha.
like how i am now.

fuck
me.
right.

I just really feel the need to get into a relationship with me liking the guy muchmuchmuch more than the guy liking me and then him breaking up with me so that I can feel the pain of whatever pain I'm inflicting onto him/ had inflicted onto others before. Maybe karma will hunt me down next time and I'll end up single for life so that I can stop breaking hearts.

what do you want, trini?