Monday, November 12, 2012
Am I taking everything for granted?
So maybe you just set me thinking about what do we wake up for every morning. What makes me want to wake up and get out of my bed to do something.
And thinking about it, actually, there's nothing.
Nothing makes me want to get out of bed. What am actually living for?
I don't understand why I get over things so quickly, but I don't understand why you hold things in for so long even more. I mean it's like. What's the point of holding it in? Why make life so difficult for yourself when life is already fucked up enough? You said it yourself, you made that choice. If you did, then live with it, stick with it, because you chose to take this path. No one ever forced you. I don't understand why you hold so much hatred for the school actually, but, if you really did that much, why did you still choose to come here? Come here and bitch about everything and about how you hate the school and how much you didn't want to come here.
You had a choice.
-/
This kind of reminds me of a few posts here and there I had last time about SN. About how those 'new' girls, meaning those that were not from SNprimary bitch and bitch and bitch about how SN has a fucked up system and how they want out of the school. Different school, same story.
Bitch, no one asked you come here. SN is a good school, in your face. There's a reason why we top SG for 4 consecutive years. There's a reason why we have a good reputation and why people actually say that we are a good school.
There are reasons for everything.
It just depends if you want to see it, and actually acknowledge it or not.
-/
CJ, isn't too bad after all.
I mean after crying half a morning over a text that told me I was posted to CJ, people would probably think I hate the school to the core. But why don't we try to take a look at the bright side of things. CJ gave me so much that I could never achieve any where else, at any other better schools because I would be overshadowed by people more outstanding once again like how I was overshadowed in SN.
People never ever thought that I would make a good leader. But here in CJ, my classmates think that I do a good job at being AHTC, and that makes me happy. I never felt bonded to any of my classes in SN. But here in CJ, I fucking love 1T28.
Where our results take us doesn't matter, it's what you make out of what you can get isn't it?
-/
I barely passed promos.
And there'll be parents-teacher meeting on thursday because I barely passed and I don't even get to receive my results slip with the class. All I got what a letter telling my parents/me that JC2 programme is going to be very rigorous and I'd probably screw up because I barely passed JC1 and I should just fucking retain.
Okay fine, they didn't say that.
But they did say that it's rigorous and shit like that and they want to meet my parents to issue the results slip to discuss my performance, because YUP. THAT WOULD BE SO EFFECTIVE AND USEFUL. TALK ABOUT WHAT HAS BEEN DONE AND CANNOT BE UNDONE.
I know, it's about how they're going to be like yeahyeah this is where you screwed up, better go home and take the holidays to not only relax but also study hard.
FOR THE BIOLOGY FOUNDATION TEST THAT I HAVE TO TAKE ON 4TH JANUARY 2013.
What a great way to start the year ;)
-/
I digressed a lot from the start of the post.
It's been an extremely long time since I actually blogged properly.
And I really really miss this a lot. I miss typing out my thoughts and keeping them (safe) here.
I'm really going to hate how when I get older next time, like probably just next year and I visit my blog and try to see how my life was like this year and there's nothing for me to read in my archive.
I love how I have so much to read about myself through the archive and see how immature I was last time and how much I have grown.
-/
Back to the main topic of this post.
You most probably function very very differently from me.
For one, you don't get over things as quickly as me. Which results in the fact that I don't seem like a depressed person all the time although I DO get depressed just that I get over it fucking fast and it seems like I was never depressed or something.
And you have your own reason to hate the school, to make that choice although you didn't want to. Like I said earlier, there are reasons for everything. And CJ probably didn't offer you as many opportunities as how your secondary school did for you.
But then again, learn to accept and let go.
And maybe, just maybe.
You'll stop being so depressed.
-/
And finally, I don't even know if you would see this but, I love you<3 p="p">
?You're like a queen and beautiful
11:45 PM
