text buddy. more than friends. or what.
I don't even know anymore.
?You're like a queen and beautiful
8:39 PM
Relatives from Malaysia came over to give out wedding invitations. The newly weds took over my room and I hope they don't do anything -cough- on my bed.
And so as always, the awkward family dinners with the extended family. And but of course, how can we forget the aunt that
hates loves me. Please, I was like educating her sec 2 daughter about how to think through before choosing her subject combination in sec 3 the next year and what to look forward to in JC and stuff. Not even a thank you and oh of course, how can she forget to tell me that I'm fat! It's a must isnt it! Was talking about how I got my PE exemption and her lovely reply was "No wonder you're so fat." Thank you so much. It's people like her that fuck up people like me with self-esteem already ruined. And people like me with fucked up self-esteems together with fucked up people like her fuck up beauty standards and together we form one beautiful fucked up society filled with lovely fucked up people.
I love the word 'fuck' it's so flexible.
This is really out of point, but really.
And so I felt really horrible. And just wished that I could go to the toilet to puke out my dinner or something. (why didn't she say that during dinner and not after damnit.)
Told the boy about it, and he said "
You're beautiful". I've read far too many fanfics about how those words can make someone feel good. And it really does. He changed the subject really fast, well, considering how we have not really discussed about what the fuck we are right now, but he said it anyways.
I'm beautiful, so fuck you.
Don't ask me why there are so much swearing in this post, it's because FUCK YOU THAT'S WHY.
?You're like a queen and beautiful
6:57 PM
I FUCKING LOVE KPOP. HAHAHAHAHAHA.
Seriously, some of the songs are just so nice ;___; AND THE PEOPLE. ALL MY FEELS. I CAN'T CONTAIN ALL THESE FEELS. THE FANGIRL LANGUAGE. THE FANDOMS. THE GIFS THE CAPS THE MVS. TUMBLR. I MISS BEING A HARDCORE FANGIRL SO BAD.
HAPPY EUNHAE DAYYYYY.
on and on, precious love.
?You're like a queen and beautiful
8:36 PM
So, I think everything has been working out for me pretty eerily. It's like I don't know, I managed to achieve everything that I wanted to get at the start of this year. Now I just wish that this good trend will continue! :)
Mentioned in one of my previous emo posts about my mum not allowing me to go for OBS that I did get into CMC, I did get into a performing arts CCA, I did get into CCA Exco, and I did get selected for OBS. (and I can't go -,-)
Anyway, point is. I sort of got 'promoted' in guzheng haha. Like all the J1s with no experience at the start of the year (which means me) were all in zheng er, that basically plays the sort of background accompaniment mixed with melody also. AAAAAAAND NOW I'M IN ZHENG YI! I still remember walking out of school with seraphina, my og mate and cca mate that has like grade 5/6 in guzheng and is in zheng yi that I aim to get into zheng yi by end of this year HAHA. AND NOW I REALLY DID ALTHOUGH I FAKE PLAY LIKE 1/2 OF THE SONG MOST OF THE TIME. WHAT IS THIS. Now I really want to learn how to play the guzheng like well enough for a beginner. May we do well in SYF next year :D
And now I want to be a forensic scientist. I think I watch too much forensic heroes already. HAHA. NOT KIDDING OKAY. I REALLY WANT TO MINOR IN FORENSIC SCIENCE IN NUS AND STUDY CRIMINOLOGY/ JUSTICE CRIME SOMETHING HAHAHAHAHA. LETS STUDAYE HARDDD :D
?You're like a queen and beautiful
10:16 PM
I'm starting to really hate myself. Not that this thought had never crossed my mind before during my teenage angst period. Oh wait, I think I'm STILL in my teenage angst period. Emotional sixteen years old here, hello. I envy people that have a good command of english and are good at Literature. Everything that they say just sound so much more sophisticated in the end. I mean you would rather hear someone go on about the rain in the most abstract way possible than to hear someone ramble on about how strong acids fully dissociate in water right?
Why am I being so random tonight.
I need rest, like rest rest. Sleep.
Stayed up all night to finish my EoM that I DID NOT complete even after crashing at 5am. Woke up with a horrible stomachache and decided that I didn't want to go to school today so that I can finish up EoM at home. But I still slept through my day and hence handed up my EoM an hour late with 34 words over the word limit anyway. But at least I submitted right?
Time zone differences, a 12 hours gap.
He wakes up at my sunset and says good morning when it's midnight.
Loving the song Jet lag by simple plan now because it's eerily similar to what is happening. After all these while, I'm still wondering what the hell is going on between us. I'm a superficial girl so...I don't know really. Why don't you tell me? Say something. Anything.
I be waiting for your airmail letter though. Wish I was over at Indianapolis instead of being stuck in this hellhole. They have fireflies there at night and what do I have? My undone tutorials.
Oh joy, PW too.
Oh and just a small note.
Happy birthday Heechul. Feels weird not typing a long ass dedication like how I would have did last time. I guess I grew out of writing dedications. It's pretty pointless I must say.
?You're like a queen and beautiful
11:58 PM
2am drunk call;;
Everything started from that didn't it.
Day 1 of us not talking since that call because you're 12 hours away from me now. I never really had the urge to check my phone every minute last time because well, there was no one whatsapping me for the whole fucking day. But now, even when I clearly know that you're not here I still check my phone so often hoping to see your name appear. And it's only day 1. wtfself seriously.
I miss you already.
?You're like a queen and beautiful
8:38 PM
Monday, July 23, 2012