Biography

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Trini's.
121095.
CHIJ St. Nicholas Girls' School (Primary & Secondary)
P1P, P2W, P3P, P4P, P5C, P6C
S1C, S2P, S3L, S4L
PUBLICATIONS.
Catholic Junior College
1T28
GUZHENG ENSEMBLE

What is the difference between loving and liking?

Random musings

you pulled me back
caught me and left me hanging
in your pocket
you're my worst salvation, baby.
oh i wish i was not the one to walk away
to live life your way.

Formspring

Past entries

White rainbow;

♥ January 2009
♥ February 2009
♥ March 2009
♥ April 2009
♥ May 2009
♥ June 2009
♥ July 2009
♥ August 2009
♥ September 2009
♥ October 2009
♥ November 2009
♥ December 2009
♥ January 2010
♥ February 2010
♥ March 2010
♥ April 2010
♥ May 2010
♥ June 2010
♥ October 2010
♥ November 2010
♥ December 2010
♥ January 2011
♥ February 2011
♥ March 2011
♥ April 2011
♥ May 2011
♥ June 2011
♥ July 2011
♥ August 2011
♥ September 2011
♥ October 2011
♥ November 2011
♥ December 2011
♥ January 2012
♥ February 2012
♥ March 2012
♥ April 2012
♥ May 2012
♥ June 2012
♥ July 2012
♥ August 2012
♥ September 2012
♥ October 2012
♥ November 2012
♥ February 2013
♥ April 2013
♥ July 2013
♥ October 2013
♥ December 2013
♥ February 2014
♥ March 2014
♥ August 2014

Creditorials

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Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Everything is too overwhelming right now.

As the AHTC of the class, as trini low.

I really don't mind mass texting the class about everything, I mean I have unlimited smses afterall. And I really like to do something for the class even if it means just texting them reminders and what not to pass down messages. But it gets really overwhelming when everyone texts me back questions, as if I'm supposed to know the answers to everything. "where's the key trini?" "I lost my bio notes, what should I do?" "Is there a lost and found area in our school?" "One laptop per group or one laptop per person?" And sometimes, all of these come all at once, because I mass text. And I have to reply to each and everyone individually. I don't mind, really. But it gets all too overwhelming sometimes. And I really can't help but think that I'm doing more than the HTC of the class even though I'm only the ASSISTANThtc. I don't know.

And then, there's PW. I'm the group leader of my PW group. At first when I saw the list of members in my group, I was happy really. Like, happy because I thought I could work with them rather well. But I guess it's turning out not as good as I expected. Sometimes, I get really pissed off at some of them, but I really just cannot tell them that. I mean, that would sour our relationship and it's only the beginning of our journey in the same PW group. And so because of this, I then feel like I'm a fucking two-faced bitch. Because I'm pissed but I cannot tell them that I am. I can only push it down and act like nothing is fucking wrong when everything is. And you, who always never fails to say that 'we're screwed' every single PW lesson. I know we are, but we are all in this together arn't we. Will saying that we're screwed help? DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT TO HELP SALVAGE THE SITUATION? I know that you're fucking busy. WE ALL ARE. I just really don't want to continue putting on this facade of being a good leader anymore. I was never meant to be a good leader. Amanda told me that ' [I] have really good leadership skills' Do...I? I don't know. If I really do, I wouldn't be having so much trouble right now right.

And then there are class dynamics to talk about. HTC and you (the same you as above) goes on and on about how there's something weird about class. Weird? What weird? At first I thought nothing much about it. But then again, thinking about it. Maybe it's true. Maybe I'm not the only hypocritical bitch around. Sometimes I really fell like all of us are just being nice to each other superficially and not because we really really care about each other... But I might be wrong of course.

All of these are just too troubling...

But yet, I'm kind of enjoying this at the same time. I like the feeling of having responsibilities. It pushes me to do things that I won't usually do. It's pushing me to grow up. And I really do feel like I've matured a whole lot since the start of JC. It's a good thing I guess.

But growing up never ends.
It never ends until you're dead.