Sometimes, I don't know why I have these thoughts. I mean, I think I'm always giving quite a lot of people that are important to me. But am I as important to them as how they are important to me?
You know, these few years, I've been keeping count of who gave me presents during my birthday. Of course, I don't expect you to give me anything if I haven't given you anything at all. Why would I want anything from you if I didn't bother to give you anything. But, for those that I've painfully sacrificed my study time/homework time to do up your scrapbooks I'm sorry if this sounds fucking selfish, but I do want something back. I want something to show that you care for how I feel during my birthday as much as I care for you. Those pictures that I printed, cost money. Those designs that I tried my very best to do up although I suck at art horribly, I want something back...
I know this sounds fucking selfish, and fucking ridiculous, because you're not supposed to expect to get anything back in a friendship. But do I even mean anything...? I mean you didn't even give me anything, not a single thing during my birthday last year when I took a month to do up yours. Filled up every single page, printed countless photos and copied lyrics, bought expensive paper cut-outs, designs from paper market. You didn't even give me a letter for my birthday... I understand that it was during the O levels period. But...I don't know. I don't feel appreciated. You probably just threw the book somewhere allowing it to collect dust. And now, I've to chip in to plan your birthday surprise, when you already had one today with your dearest best friends. I'm nothing, right. You probably don't care if I even give you anything this year.
And so I finally said this after so long.
Sometimes, I'm glad that we're not in the same school. Spare me the grieve.
?You're like a queen and beautiful
12:45 PM