Saturday, May 29, 2010
if loving a band would make me feel so much pain, then i'ld rather go back to the past.
why, why must it feel like a sin when you're not doing anything when they're standing on the same piece of land as you. but, i dont want to seem like a brainless fangirl. and i swear 90% of the kpop fangirls in singapore are brainless. call me one of them if you want to. but, seriously, rushing to buy the phone and getting tickets only to sell them online at inflated prices? why must you do this to fans that sincerly want to see them? this is plain crap. booking buses to stalk them from airport to hotel and to any place that they're going. but, i think i understand how they feel. except for the fact that they're brainless fangirls that claim to love any single korean band that comes to singapore. as long as they come to singapore, they'll love them. i really really hate this. i know i'm also one of them, considering the fact that i liked suju only when sorry sorry came out. but the fact that i've been a very superficial dbsk fan for 5 months is kind of consoling. but. whatever. this sucks. i've been telling myself that time doesnt matter. but it sucks when people say that i've been supporting them for a longer time then you. so what? i know they dont mean it or whatever. but idk. idek. this is such a ridiculous post.
?You're like a queen and beautiful
12:03 AM
Friday, May 28, 2010
this is crap.
plain fucking hell i dont know what crap.
my results are...
i dont belong to my class.
?You're like a queen and beautiful
8:32 PM
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
it sucks when you're no one's piority.
it sucks when you realise that the person that you've been telling your problems to doesnt tell you her problems.
it sucks when you realise, perhaps all these time, you've been alone.
because my love this time, i've learnt to let go.because my love this time, i don't want to go through this again.because my love this time, you're not worth my time and tears.
?You're like a queen and beautiful
6:53 PM
Monday, May 24, 2010
感動越是深刻 寂寞就越傷人
每個人的心裡都會有一段傷痕
像白紙的天真 反覆被你傷得好深
相愛不需要理由 離開也沒有理由 挽留
maybe this is really true.
i want to write such awesome lyrics too.
?You're like a queen and beautiful
9:02 PM
stalk me all you want.
because.
I DONT CARE. :D
its actually quite fun talking to someone that you don't know.
it's my 14th monthsary today, but im not happy.
because, it's already impossible to see you suju ):
because, already more than 1000 people had registered.
because, my mother will murder me because that fucking phone costs $1000.
but its okay, because i know that i love you.
its okay, because i can still live in my fantasy.
its okay, because i know that i'm part of elf.
and you love elf.
SJ = SJ.
슈퍼주니어는, 슈퍼주나어다!
because you make me laugh, you make me cry, because i've fallen for you.
but its time to let go.
?You're like a queen and beautiful
3:54 PM
Sunday, May 23, 2010
i had never seen the point.
i do not see the point.
i will never see the point.
tell me, why do we have to study a language that we already know how speak.
말해봐.
tell me, why do i keep getting myself into such situations.
말해봐.
tell me, everything that i don't know.
말해봐.
because i believe that they'll be back.
even if it takes 2 years, i'll wait.
because i want to guard the name E.L.F.
If heechul's the devil, i'ld gladly sell my soul to him.
?You're like a queen and beautiful
9:32 PM
Saturday, May 22, 2010
yay for dead blogs.
i realised it is possible to get over you.
because i've done it before.
it will only be impossible to me because i dont know that it is possible.
but now i know, it's possible.
i really dont want this anymore.
i dont want to be in this crappy mood, where i think of nothing but you.
i'm proud to be an ELF.
i'm proud of suju.
1st for K-Charts,
2pm is down down down down to no.7.
won the 1st runner up by twice the amount of points.
how awesome can any other band get?
mucore tonight.
somemore eunhae again?
?You're like a queen and beautiful
11:18 AM
Sunday, May 16, 2010
sometimes, i wonder how it is like to be rejected by the person you love.
maybe thats why we indulge in fandom.
sometimes i wonder what exactly is wrong with being fat.
maybe everything is wrong when you're fat.
sometimes i wonder why are we studying.
for our future.
sometimes i wonder why do people get upset over a test. it wont do anything to your life.
yes it will, your ppr grade. yet, so what?
sometimes, maybe its better if you just high over suju and stop thinking :)
suju is the epitome of hotness <3
?You're like a queen and beautiful
5:42 PM
Thursday, May 13, 2010
i totally melted to their vocals.
their voices.
yes, bonamana is auto tuned.
but the other songs are not.
and the ballads, their voices, are melting me. so perfect. so awesome. (perfect for me to study math.)
i reallly really love them, it seems so superficial to say that i love their looks and voices, but they mean more than looks and voices to me. of course, perhaps i wouldnt love them if i didnt notice them because of their looks and their songs, but after getting to know them, they fill my heart with so much love, there is no space for anyone else. yes. even shinee, even snsd. i mean they're like side dishes while suju is the main course :D weird description but yes. suju blocks everyone out.
even if people do not know how to appreciate them, even if people bash them, even if people say that they fail, even if they really fail, even if...
SUPER JUNIOR IS STILL SUPER JUNIOR.
and i love them for everything they are.
thank you for being in my life and making it complete.
life wouldn't be complete without you, heechul my bias forever :)
and the other 12. suju, is suju. forever.
?You're like a queen and beautiful
4:57 PM
Friday, May 7, 2010
I LOVE CAMP :)
it was really really awesome :)
well except for the fact that i had to bathe with sarah on the first day.
and i'm still amazed by the fact that i am able to finish one plate of rice within 3 mins.
the first day was like shitzxc. but the second day was plain awesome yaozxc.
really had fun with venetia, kelly, jessie, zhen hui, isobel, jasmine and well gilaine AND
AWESOME RACHAELLLLL :)
i really love how they blast songs during meal times and waiting for everyone before eating might be really okay too.
and the point is, instructors were awesome ttmttc.
CHRIS IS SO DAMN CUTE. OMG. WHY IS HE SO SHYYYY. HAHAHAHA. WHAT " I WAS FROM AN ALL BOYS SCHOOL SO LOOKING AT YOU GIRLS WERE AN EYE OPENING AND THATS WHY I'M SO SHY."
and what they were singing the banana song and he went "GIRLS DONT SING SONGS WITH HIDDEN MEANINGS!!"
and he's so gentle, he told us to wake up nicely he didnt even shout like other instructors :D
whee!
and INSTUCTOR YQ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I SWEAR HE'S HOTTER AND SHUAIER THAN THAT CHEN HUI GUY OKAYYY.
AND CHEIF SEAN IS QUITE SHUAI LA HUH.
WHEEEEEE.
i was clearly suju-deprived in the camp.
ANYWAY. I REALLY LOVED THIS CAMP :)
campfire was awesome ttm. chris is really uh slow :D
BUT THAT IS PRECISELY THE FACT THAT MAKES HIM SO CUTE. OMG.
lovelove.
AND ON TOP OF THATT. SUJU'S TEASER IS OUT.
OMFDGDUISDFPVNBFDHIPSONBJGOHIJFSDNLN JBGAJOAF;NSDL.
HEECHUL IN THE RAIN!
LEETEUK REVEALING HIS UPPER BODY /DIES.
HAE AND HYUK = PURE LOVE.
YESUNG AND RYEOWOOK AND SUNGMIN'S HAIR = AWESOME TTM. TRINI IS SPEECHLESS.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
SUJU I LOVE YOU <333
MIINA!!!!
MAY 10 MAY 10 MAY 10 MAY 10!!
MAY 13 MAY 13 MAY 13 MAY 13!!
MAY 14 MAY 14 MAY 14 MAY 14!!
AND I LOVE F(X)
NU ABO IS AWESOME SHITZXC.
TODAY'S LIVE PERF WAS AWESOME TTM MANZXC.
CANT STOP REPEATING.
I LOVE MY LIFE WITH HEATER AND BED AND SUJU AND F(X) AND CAMP AND FRIENDS.
YAY.
?You're like a queen and beautiful
9:10 PM
Sunday, May 2, 2010
why does she always put me into such deep thoughts//
love isn't selfless.
you cant be selfless.
its impossible.
the line drawn in between selflessness and selfishness is... blurred.
or perhaps, it never did exist.
a selfless act, may seem selfish in another person's eyes.
i feel so hurt, when i read her entries.
for one, i really wonder when my english, will improve.
with such limited vocabularies, and little reading, i guess. it never will.
just when i thought that i could perhaps be someone good at chinese, then it dawned on me that i'm failing my chinese too. I just knew it. I knew it, i knew that my math wasnt going to be good. I felt as if, i was being trapped in a bubble. A dream. Where i claimed my A1s for both E and A math, for both Biology and Chemistry. And now the bubble had burst, i had awakened from this horrible nightmare. yes, horrible. It's terrifying to live in such a dream, where everything are such obvious lies. I'm failing, again. The motivation to put you as my target, to win you, both academically and well, appearance. That motivation is gone. Because i'd always known that it was an impossible task. With all these fats stored in undesirable areas such as hips, arms and thighs. and with my brain probably clogged up with fats too. I was lying to myself, when i said that it might work out if i really work hard. no, it wont. I'm telling you straight in your face trini low, it. will. not. work. no. matter. how. hard. you. work. it wont. yeah, it wont. i got into the habit of puking accidentally, and i kicked it. i managed to eat again without puking it all out with the thought: "it better be out of my system. gosh." but hey. it's back again. i dont know why, i dont know when. how? i dont know how. i have no intentions of stopping it. in fact, my weight had been going down since then. so perhaps, why not. ah, i know you people must be thinking that i'm screwed. no wait, people don't even care. why should they, its not their body. its not them, its me. sigh. maybe...i'm just like one of them too. donning on a mask everyday. smiling to everyone i like. giving the dao face to people i dont like. acting like this girl that dont give a fucking dame about people that dont like her. but well its true that i dont care. why should i care? its giving them a chance to laugh and mock at me. just when, did i get so screwed?
on a lighter note.
happy birthday ziting and amanda!
i love you two lots.
and i mean it!
?You're like a queen and beautiful
9:23 PM
