Monday, November 30, 2009
i'm....seriously going crazy.
whats with me and puking after my meal.
i just feel like it.
so i puke.
makes perfect sense no?
great then after that i think im crazy.
now, this doesnt make sense.
yet, when im thinking that im crazy, i tend to see comments that make me stop thinking that im crazy, that everything im doing so far is perfectly normal. this is what i am, i do stuff, then regret, regret then see things that make me don't regret, so all in all, i'll just continue doing it.
theres no cure.
no cure.
i'd much rather not eat.
it takes alot of trouble to puke out stuff that doesn't want to come out.
yes, im crazy.
but i have to eat.
so i'll have to puke.
puking is -not fun at all.
yet, im not regretting at all now.
now- that is.
how about later.
i was regretting when i started this post.
this post is ridiculous.
whatever.
like what the fuck.
?You're like a queen and beautiful
10:08 PM
Sunday, November 29, 2009
so this is how it feels like to puke out everything you eat.
theres this feeling in me, like its asking me to puke out more -,-
but my mama's bathing now.
lol.
going crazy.
edit:
and i regret puking out everything, coz im fucking hungry now.
damnit.
i shall sleep away the hunger and the urge to puke out something that's not food in my stomach.
?You're like a queen and beautiful
8:09 PM
Saturday, November 28, 2009
happy birthday.
MONSTER.
guai shou.
wen shang yi.
although i dont love you.
you appeared quite frequently in my dreams.
like this really random ashin hiding in the closet plus i fought with you and hankyung came along helping ashin out of the closet. its really random.
plus others.
and i would never post a dedication for you.
but i guess you're really cute and i really like your yellow guitar.
make more monshin love.
prove to jane that she's wrong because monshin does exist!
okay i dont know what to say.
bye
happy birthday.
?You're like a queen and beautiful
1:19 AM
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
what the fuck is with the holding site.
the first reaction was : WHY THE FUCK IS THIS THING SO SMALL. ITS TINY.
the hall is puny, the canteen is puny, the library is puny, the toilet is puny, what the fuck is with that crappy ONE LANE CEMENTED TRACK. ITS PATHETIC, why the fuck is the bookshop separated from the canteen?!, what is with the random scary light hanging on top and the mirror and sink out of no where in the band room?! (although its none of my business it really looks like hotel 626 stage 2, where you have to take a picture of the ghost hiding. good luck band girls.), and the classrooms look like jail cells great, we're like studying in a girls home or something all the barbed wires and metal stuff wtf.
plus points:
the computer lab is quite okay not bad. acceptable.
it has a spiral staircase!
it has alot of scary places to hide. which mean secret places.
primary section separated from secondary section = earlier recess.
so in conclusion,
the holding site sucks.
i hate this holding site.
im not going to call it my school.
my school is in angmokio.
not in toa payoh.
?You're like a queen and beautiful
8:52 PM
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
how the fuck am i going to get my 20 cca points.
thats not the point of this post anyway.
the point is.
im depressed.
MY SCHOOL IS GOING TO BE TORN DOWN.
DAMNIT.
MY UH.
SECOND HOME FOR 8 YEARS.
8 WHOLE YEARS!!!!!!
im going to miss it like shit.
yes.
I LOVE SN.
GOT PROB NOT.
))):
my dear school, with all my dear memories.
damn.
why cant they just tear it down after i graduate.
fuck.
D:
my school.
SN i love you :D
?You're like a queen and beautiful
10:22 PM
Saturday, November 21, 2009
sometimes i really wish that i never fell in love with kpop.
i cant stand it when i log on to msn and see people listening to suju songs.
i dont know what the fuck is wrong with me.
its the same isnt it.
i dont like people, people dont like me too.
the whole cycle of getting pissed and thinking about why should i get pissed and stuff.
makes me feel like giving up my love for suju.
life would be easier if i could just stop loving suju isnt it.
then i wouldnt care about these kind of things anymore.
but i cant.
because their music is my life.
because fanfictions of them is my life.
because they are my life.
because they are already a part me it'll hurt to remove.
yet, i cant stop getting pissed.
why?
叶子的飘落，是风的追求，还是树得不挽留？
?You're like a queen and beautiful
2:47 PM
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
i hate piano more than i hate fei lun hai.
why do i cry when im not supposed to.
when the strong trini that doesn't cry isn't supposed to.
then trivial matters i dont give a fucking damn.
when others are just the opposite.
everything is fucked up.
my internet.
my new class next year.
my friends.
my life.
my piano.
my everything.
but what can i do about it
nothing
precisely, nothing.
practise more piano.
i fucking did okay.
i practise that fucking black thing.
played with its keys all day long.
great.
i just started both hands.
and you're asking me for what STACCATOES.
TIE NOTES.
ASK ME TO GO SLOW.
THEN SAY
PLAY FASTER!
what the fuck.
and then going to on to the first song which i am already familiar with.
i just fucking cried during the third song.
how the fuck do you want to play well when my eyes are blur with tears and my nose running.
so i get more scolding.
indeed.
then she complains to my mama.
and my dad asks how?
and my mama had to say "NEH PRACTISE LOR."
okay.
moral of my fucked up day: so what if you did practise. your teacher will never give you credit but instead pick on your mistakes when you're a beginner at the fucking song for both hands.
i practised so much for that third song.
im finally familiar with separate hands.
started both hands today.
JUST TODAY.
and she expects so much from me?
to get every single staccato and tie notes right.
maybe some piano genius.
no maybe everyone.
everyone but me can get that right.
BUT I CANT
SO WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT ME TO DO.
fuck you trini.
fuck you.
?You're like a queen and beautiful
6:29 PM
trini ah trini...
너 왜 이래....
?You're like a queen and beautiful
12:10 AM
Friday, November 13, 2009
friday the 13th (:
my 8th month anniversary
and i got my phone back.
i think this blog should be dead till school reopens.
very well.
say goodbye.
bye.
?You're like a queen and beautiful
8:27 PM
Thursday, November 12, 2009
ah seriously. stay there and rot and never come back. i hate you.
?You're like a queen and beautiful
1:54 PM
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
i still remember what happened on the first day of school this year.
we had to stand in a circle and we were arranged by height. so molly kept pushing me around the circle.
then she decided our seating arrangement and i was very wtf-y because we had to stick to one deskmate for the whole year.
and my deskmate was jaclyn.
and i was sad because i did not get to sit next to mt.
and the person right behind me was jane.
because it was jane, i had to survive one whole term with someone kicking me thru classes, taking off their shoes and leaving it on my chair threathing me not to make it fall. and also because of that, i was doomed to print things for someone the whole year.
oh but i didnt even realise that her name was jane until the end of the day. and i went "OMG. SO YOU'RE JANE." because yeah, i started stalking last year and i knew of her existance. and venetia said " HOW SLOW."
why do i still remember.
anyway that was the first day.
the last day of school, things changed like crazy.
i am no longer friends with mt.
i made friends.
i lost friends.
i changed. again.
sometimes i really still want to stop growing up. go back to the real innocent pure days where i have no worries of friends. because i was oh-so-sociable and i had like so many friends. but what happened i wonder.
yes, i do say i dont care when people hate me.
actually, i really don't care because... its not like i can do anything about it. but. i do still give a damn about it sometimes. laugh.
?You're like a queen and beautiful
10:56 PM
Monday, November 9, 2009
Ferris wheelThe ferris wheel continues to turn
Yet I’m all alone now
Memories of you caressing my cheeks and the simple kisses you loved,
moments of just time together that we had shared
I remember the times I never wanted to accept you
Because love is like a lesson I never want to learn
Like a never ending story is our love,
it’ll never end, like the ferris wheel
Yet, now it’s the end for us
Tears that I’d cried for us
I still remember your favorite flavor
of our favorite ice-cream brand
It was a mistake from the start
For love was like a lesson I had never wanted to learn
I’ll never forget
The way you took my hand
I’ll never forget
the heartburn
When you kissed me goodbye
Those reminiscences etched deeply,
somewhere deep down in my cold heart
Like a never-ending story is our love,
it’ll never end, like the ferris wheel
Yet, now it’s the end for us
Tears that I’d cried for us
I still remember your favorite song
of our favorite band
It was a mistake wrong from the start
For love was like a lesson I had never wanted to learn
Again and again, I would ride the wheel.
I would once again reach the top,
the wind messing up my hair
Yet, this time, you’re not there to laugh at me
Yet, this time, you’re not holding me
The ferris wheel broke down
Yet I still remember the way you love to hold my hand
Yet I still remember the way you said, ‘I love you’
?You're like a queen and beautiful
12:38 AM
Sunday, November 8, 2009
到了明天，说好不再见面。
坐在结尾的店，我一个人点了一杯想念。
到了明天，只能让爱擦肩。
两个人的笑脸，天亮前变成泛黄的照片。
身边，寂寞在蔓延。
视线，被泪水模糊焦点。
把我爱你，留在了心底放在了唇边。
到了明天，你就离开我身边。
到了明天，独自向流星许愿。
像一场电影到完结片。
我们的结局应验谁的预言。
碎了一地的诺言，拼凑不回的昨天。
可我仍期待奇迹会出现。 oh no~
而你身影越来越远。
爱，还留在我房间。
回忆还很新鲜，一瞬间，感觉你就在眼前。
我身边，寂寞在蔓延。
这视线，被泪水模糊焦点。
一句我爱你，深深留在了心底放在了唇边。
到了明天，你就离开我身边。
到了明天，独自向流星许愿。
像一场电影到完结片。
我们的结局应验谁的预言。
碎了一地的诺言，拼凑不回的昨天。
可我依旧仍期待奇迹会出现。 oh no~
而你离去身影却越来越远。
没有你爱开始冬眠，孤单会占据每一天。
我站在路灯下面，冷清的街边，那个曾相用的地点。
是我们一起躲过雨的屋檐。
到了明天，你就离开我身边。
到了明天，独自向流星许愿。
像一场电影到完结片。
我们的结局应验谁的预言。
碎了一地的诺言，拼凑不回的昨天。
可我仍期待奇迹会再出现。 oh no~
我依然还怀念相爱的从前。
我依然还等你回到我身边
泪流在我冰冷的枕边。
按下暂停的时间，直到你再次出现。
无法承受没有你的每一天。 oh no~
我爱你不会改变。
我爱着你到永远。
?You're like a queen and beautiful
2:08 PM
Friday, November 6, 2009
HAPPY 4TH ANNIVERSARY SUPER JUNIOR!!!
although its only been less than 8th months since i'd fallen in love with you guys. You brought me so much joy and smiles. i think it would be nicer if i could just keep this simple and just say a simple: "i love you, suju."
(omfggggg. yesung is freaking hot in ring ding dong. i love the way he dance laugh. hahaha!)
(chuchuchuchuchu♥)
(went to jb and bought 3 epop = 2 suju posters! omgz one of them is super show pictures and one of the picture is hanchul. dies.)
(i love you suju!13 hearts for you!)
(♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥)
?You're like a queen and beautiful
9:35 PM
Thursday, November 5, 2009
ridiculous fitch.
?You're like a queen and beautiful
9:17 PM
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
great.
apparently my bones matured, so i CANT grow taller anymore.
and uhm it IMPROVED ^^
although its still curve like 28degrees. but its okay.
it was 33 to 28 to 32 to 28 yay!
the doctor's surname is HEE!
lol.
went to register for my korean lesson at thomson cc today.
actually we went to the cc opposite our school. but apparently its full no vacancy and it started already.
actually it might better.
i dont want to study with all the sn girls there (yes, i think 90% of the students are from sn. the person said so okay. fine she didnt say 90%.)
but thomson cc... i scared got all the lianz ):
oh well.
i think my blog is like dead during the hols. :/
I HEARD GAO BAI ON 93.3!!!
HAHAHA.
:D
?You're like a queen and beautiful
7:32 PM
