Loving and liking; ♥

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

미안해....

?You're like a queen and beautiful

9:54 PM

Monday, September 28, 2009

i feel like slapping myself oh my god.
its like going to be sungmin day tmr.
1 WEEK.
and i totally slacked today...
):
howfailela.
i keep saying fail le la fail le la....
but its not use please trini, stop being a baichi and just study.
sleep now and study tmr please.
you dont want to fail your eoys...
STUDAYYYY!

?You're like a queen and beautiful

9:58 PM

HAPPY SHINDONG DAY ON SHINDONG'S BIRTHDAY!!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHINDONGHEE!!!! (((((:
shindong yah. saengilchulkahamnida!
aww, you're so cute.
i want to see a dance battle between you and eunhyukkie again.
:D
and actually your voice isnt too bad. (its you~)
you're kyute, you can dance :/ and you can do so many things.
when i cant -,-
anyway, shindong!
we shall lose weight together ^^
saranghae <3

?You're like a queen and beautiful

7:11 PM

Saturday, September 26, 2009

why are you so fake.
how could you not be happy.
why don't you think about people, many people that are doing worse than you.
you selfish freak
you are one fucking bitch.
don't talk to me.
i don't want to talk to you.
i didn't want to post this here.
i didn't even want to talk about this.
but i can't take it anymore.
i really cant.
why are you my friend.
do you know what is heartache?
its your heart being torn apart into pieces, then it gets filled with love and happiness, or at least you thought that it was genuine happiness. but then, they just take your heart and throw it on the floor harshly, your heart shatters into pieces, millions of pieces too tiny, it can never be pieced back again. but someone walks into your life, brings you joy, but yet the same thing happens all over again...
thats heartache.
i want to cry.
cry like crazy.
cry my eyes out.
cry like i've never cried in my life.
cry like im a small kid that have been denied a sweet.
but i won't cry.
even though the tears are already bringing the familiar sting..
even though the tears are already threatening to roll out.
i'll hold them in..
i'll be strong.
i'll be fake like how everyone is like.
i'll learn that this is how the world is like
this is how people is like.
人不为自，天诛地灭。
i'll be a self-centered, fake person.
a person that i myself hate so much.
i'll stop using vulgarities.
i'll stop writing emo posts.
i'll study.
i'll endure until the year ends and start afresh...

?You're like a queen and beautiful

8:25 PM

i finally finish typing out population and pollution for geog...
finished settlements long ago.
yay!

i'll revise science tomorrow.
i have to do well in the eoys..
blue tomorrow is so awesome ^^
gonna sleep now.
geog got cui mian de zuo yong.
haha

you're right.
but they're not just numbers.
i lost the passion in believing that your life does not only involve studies.
because... what can you do besides studying now.
party. have fun. fangirl.
and what do get in the end?
nothing.
i had always believed that results weren't everything.
because there is always something more to life.
seems like im wrong no?
because even though that certificate is just a freaking piece of paper it brings you your future.
whether you're going to a good jc, a lousy jc, a good poly, a lousy poly or maybe you can just stop studying.
then everyone around you is just going to go 'its okay, just work harder.'
when actually they don't really mean it.
parents.
i consider myself lucky, because im smarter than my brother...
so i don't really have that i-must-do-better-than-my-older-sibling stress...
and my parents thinks that im already doing quite well in school.
when in fact, im not.
when everyone around me are smarter than me.
but they deny, and call me smart.
it doesn't make me happy.
(and now i wonder. what exactly makes me happy.)
when everyone around is emoing when their results are good.
maybe to them, its never enough.
nothing is enough.
ever.
sometimes i wonder, what exactly holds us back from jumping down.
and so, we can't do anything about it...
its useless no matter what we do...
so, we have to face reality and do our best...
against our own will..
i cant.
i just can't cheer up...

?You're like a queen and beautiful

1:13 AM

Friday, September 25, 2009

depressed.
1% to Al for history...
0.2% to A2 for science...
2. something % to A2 for english...
D7 for math... (coz i failed that stupid 1 test)
B3 for lit...
B3 for chinese...

D:

this totally shows that i should really start hardcore mugging for eoys.
to pull up this totally sucky results.
math especially.
i got like 33/100 for the mock test. HAHAHHA.
i finished my wenshi paper in 20 mins.
jiawen wrote one line for shangxin lol.
i wrote so much :/
aloh wrote about the same as me lol.
aloh kept emoing today...
i think i emoed abit too...
why are you so 虚伪.

?You're like a queen and beautiful

3:29 PM

Thursday, September 24, 2009

i wonder why do we need to study
i wonder why do we bother to study
i wonder why im wondering so much when i should be studying...

i think im going to cry the day we split.
lianne.
why can't you see that she's using you when her friends are not there.
why do you say yes.
why do i feel like crying.
why why why.
fuck.
i don't want this to happen.
i don't even want to think what will happen to me when i go to poly/jc..
when i have to make friends all over again.

don't....

?You're like a queen and beautiful

6:18 PM

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

HAPPY LEETEUK DAY.
TOMORROW IS HEECHUL DAY. (i cant find the dark pink O:)
piano was a disaster.
home ec was a disaster.
i need to study like now D:

I hate you
but yet I love you
what are you to me
none of those memoriesare happy
none of those memories are fading

The breakup was supposedly
freedom
but why do I feel so suffocated
I can’t breathe
I need you by my side
This very minute, this very second
there’s nothing else I can do
I can’t forget you
as if you’re still mine
I can’t forgive you
you had hurt me so much
But you’re a piece of me
I can’t give up

Stop looking for me
Please, let’s just stop
Stop lying to yourself
You already stopped loving me
I can learn how to live all alone
I will prove to you
I don’t need you to survive
You’re not my everything
I won’t feel dead without you

The breakup was supposedly
freedom
but why do I feel so suffocated
I can’t breathe
I need you by my side
This very minute, this very second
there’s nothing else I can do
I can’t forget you
as if you’re still mine
I can’t forgive you
you had hurt me so much
But you’re a piece of me
I can’t give up

Somehow my heart belongs to you
It is fate
Because I can’t stop thinking about you
But I want to forget about you
I need to forget about you
The pain is so suffocating
I feel like my life is dying away
As the seconds tick by

The breakup was supposedly
freedom
but why do I feel so suffocated
I can’t breathe
I need you by my side
This very minute, this very second
there’s nothing else I can do
I can’t forget you
as if you’re still mineI can’t forgive you
you had hurt me so much
But you’re a piece of me
I can’t give up

oh..no I can't give up

?You're like a queen and beautiful

5:48 PM

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

tomorrow is gonna be leeteuk day then heechul, hankyung, yesung and it continues.
the day after kyuhyun day is the first day of EOYs...

i seriously feel damn guilty for not studying now la.
like i seriously need to start revising or i'll fail everything.
damn fuck shit.

okay. its in 13 days.
its coming like real soon.

i dont understand you..
like :/
whats wrong with you?
funny and ridiculous people :/

?You're like a queen and beautiful

7:37 PM

Sunday, September 20, 2009

hokay.

HAPPPY BIRTHDAY HENRY!
you're like cute yeah.
i DO NOT like henwook yeah, but you're so cute.
im still kinda biased and a little against SJM.
(i know i should not be ): leader-sshi and hankyungie)
aye, to me you're much nicer than zhou mi, okay zhou mi just has a very weird nose.
and his hair is nicer now.
but yeah, okay i don't know what to say.
happy birthday and don't create so much henwook to break my heart ^^

this is the worst dedication ever.

?You're like a queen and beautiful

11:52 AM

Saturday, September 19, 2009

紧紧相应的心如何say goodbye
你比我清楚还要我说明白

背叛 hankyung version is so nice
i think its nicer than gary's version.
much nicer.
im biased, but i really prefer hankyung's voice!
why won't they come to sg D:
;__;

i think my love for heechul can't go any further, because already love him like how yixuan loves leeteuk.
maybe a teeny bit lesser than yixuan's love for leeteuk because her love for leeteuk is really woah.

kangin ):
E.L.F.s believe in you
don't cry ;__;

?You're like a queen and beautiful

6:09 PM

ahh.
oh my fuck
what the fuck is wrong with you like seriously.
yes its 12.27 and i might be a little emo now.
but no, this is not an emo post.
i finally understand how she feels when someone keeps ________ her.
like what the fucking hell?
so what?
i dont give a fucking damn about what you think and what you do.
you try so hard for fuck?
you're already better than me, so would you pretty please just stop bugging me with your fucking ways that i really hate.
because like seriously, i dont give a fucking damn for the last time.
i can live just alright by myself, i dont need you.
i want my primary 6 class.
fuck.
i hate st.nicks all of a sudden.
why is st.nicks a school full of fucking hypocrites and fucking bitches and fucking people THAT I CANNOT STAND LA.
fuck.
seriously, for fuck?

okay i know this post got alot of fucks but i dont fucking care, coz its my fucking blog and no fuckers read it so i don't give a fucking damn.

im pissed as you can see.

?You're like a queen and beautiful

12:27 AM

Friday, September 18, 2009

heechul = trini goes mad.

heechul + heebum = trini bang wall.

hankyung + heechul = trini jump down building.

in conclusion, trini goes crazy when heechul is around.

'i act, but suju is my eternal home.'

ilu heechul

(today i 自卑 X100 D: )

?You're like a queen and beautiful

9:42 PM

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

she.
her.
i stayed at her page for so long...
i dont understand her.
i really dont.
she,
actually seems different from the rest.
different from all those superficial people i've seen so far in my life.
well, i really don't know how to describe her.
i'd once thought that she was like me.
but no, she isn't.
because im much worse and she's better than me in life.
but she,
how can anybody love a person so much?
how can anybody love a person that don't even know you exist so much?
how can anybody accept the fact that the person you love, won't ever love you and perhaps maybe you can't even see him once, and still love him so much...
how can anybody love so much...
but then again, loving an idol, won't hurt.
because he doesn't belong to you.
and he'll never will.
don't ever let fics control your thinking..
because you'll never meet your idol and he'll never fall in love with you.
and i really wonder if she would ever fall in love with a 'real' person, well someone that you can actually see and talk to everyday...
will she love him like forever.
until he's married.
well she says that she loves him oh so much.
okay she didnt say that.
but she made me realise that she really loves him alot.
how?
if only i could ask her that question.
heck she's younger than me.
why am i so immature.
or is she the mature one?

?You're like a queen and beautiful

7:41 PM

I WILL.
UH.
FINISH TYPING OUT GEOG NOTES.
THEN.
DO MATH
THEN READ 5 YEWOOK AND 1 KYUMIN.

can i read first TT.TT
pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
the geog was supposed to be done like during the sep hols.
and i haven't started revising for history.
i ought to die.
):

damn duck.
alliteration :D

?You're like a queen and beautiful

7:28 PM

ah. blogger is back to very normal :D
changed place~
sitting right in front now.
fine it fits me.

gym was quite okay.
not as bad as i thought...

I RAN FOR 25 MINS :D
i almost gave up.
almost.

homeec was so effin fun!

YEWOOK IS FUCKING HOT LIKE SERIOUSLY.
NOW, I THINK PHONE SEX IS HOTTER THAN BONDAGE HAHAHA

因为在我自卑是，在我难过时，你让我笑。
开心地笑。
所以。。。
사랑해도, 괜찮니?

?You're like a queen and beautiful

4:54 PM

Sunday, September 13, 2009

6TH MONTH :D
hurray for trini
i cant wait for march.

OH MY SUPER SUPER SUPER SUPER, 我是你的 SUPERMAN.

eoys are coming.
like really coming.
괜찮아!
trini will pass (:

and i still dont know if i should take C-Lit next year.
E-Lit doesn't seem too bad but i really don't want to take it 'cause though i don't get Cs for it. I HAD NEVER GOTTEN AN A FOR E.LIT. its always B4, if lucky then B3.

C-Lit, leh.
A1 all the way.
but i'll be facing all the cheena people, their C-lit and Chinese will be better than me.
plus, i can't even stand Hankyung's cheena accent (okay actually i can, 'cause its hankyung.), how am i gonna survive listening to cheena people speak english for 2 whole years.
i'll probably commit suiside.

how?
i want to learn korean D:

?You're like a queen and beautiful

1:05 PM

Saturday, September 12, 2009

ahh.
i should be a good girl and sleep now ^^
gotta wake up early later yo.

the holidays are over
and i wasted 3 days so far.
tch.

shall do geog practise paper and homeec (is there even homeec? have right) on sunday.
ahhh.
sunday is my 6TH MONTH ANNIVERSARY!!!!
hahaha.

my love for suju will last.
it will.
because.
KIMHEECHUL AND KIMRYEOWOOK.
is in super junior.

?You're like a queen and beautiful

3:06 AM

Friday, September 11, 2009

我们常常抱怨自己的朋友不够好，埋怨自己不是理想中自己想要成为的那种人。而我们也常常戴上一个假面具面对我们身边的朋友，我们身边的人。我们每天这样不断的演戏，扮演一个并不是自己的人，难道不累吗？我还觉得蛮累的呢。我们这样演下去，或许以后都找不到真正的自己了。朋友，或许是有些人的全部。当你最信任的朋友背叛你时，你会怎样做呢。我学会了，我学会这世上是没有‘永远的朋友’这回事。我现在又有什么资格坐在这打出这些字。。。我何尝不是以双面人。我，我是谁？我为谁而活？如果你对我说，我应该为自己而活，那我还真觉得我的生命没有什么好留恋的。你为了谁而活呢？

?You're like a queen and beautiful

11:04 PM

OH PLEASE.
JUST SAY THAT IT'S NORMAL TO HAVE 2 NUMBER 1s D:

BECAUSE IM TOTALLY HEECHULIFIED AND RYEOWOOKIFIED AT THE SAME TIME.

AND I CAN'T MAKE HEECHUL MY NUMBER ONE BECAUSE RYEOWOOK IS NUMBER 1 AND HE'S NOT GOING DOWN IN THE RANKS.

BUT HEECHUL IS NUMBER 1 TOO.

so... please just say that it's normal to have 2 number 1s :D

heechul has very nice fingers!
okay thats totally random.
but he really got very very very very nice fingers!
they are long and slim.
unlike mine ):

I CAN'T WAIT FOR SJM'S 2ND ALBUM :D
OR MAYBE JUST SUPER GIRL'S MV.
OH MY.
HANKYUNG, SIWON, DONGHAE ARE SO DAMN EFFIN SEXYAAEEEE!!!!!!
HENRY IS SO CUTE.
AND ZHOU MI GOT NICE HAIR. (i'm still trying to listen to leader sshi. but im still biased. very. in fact.)

WHY MUST THEY MAKE RYEOWOOK STAND NEXT TO SIWON AGAIN ))))):

?You're like a queen and beautiful

9:26 PM

i have to learn that not all feelings are returned.
i have to learn how to not think about things that will never come true.
i have to learn how to ignore.
i have to learn that im very much imperfect.
i have to learn that every one is imperfect.
i have to learn so many things.
why not just jump down from the building.
it saves me alot of trouble.
emoni strikes back.

?You're like a queen and beautiful

12:30 AM

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

hahaha.
so gen came over
and we spent the day suju-ing instead of studying -,-
damn
but it was fun
LOL.
so we just suck at math ):
die.
and we didn't even touch physics D:
die.

hahahah.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GENNI^^

?You're like a queen and beautiful

7:43 PM

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

I FEEL HAPPY.
OH SO HAPPY.
its been a long time since i felt so happy
hahahha

went to bishan library with sonia and the rest~~

i finally know how to do chemical equations
and balancing equations

:D:D:D!!!

went over to sonia's house and watched kbs for a while
saw 2pm and 2NE1
hahaha.
had so much fun crapping

and gen's coming over tmr to study
and shun bian celebrate genni's birthday!
:D
whee~

I FEEL HAPPY
OH SO HAPPY

?You're like a queen and beautiful

7:30 PM

Sunday, September 6, 2009

SUGAR OVERDOSEEEEEEEE

E.L.F.:What did oppa eat for lunch?
Kangin: What if i said leeteuk oppa? will i get scolded?

aww no you won't kangin!
KANGTEUK FTW.

E.L.F.: Marry me.
Kyuhyun: you must get permission from sungmin oppa first.

omgomgomgomg
KYUMINNN!!!!!!!

ELF: Donghae oppa!!! really!!! getting married with an ELF??!?!?!?
Eunhyuk: I disagree to the marriage?

EUNHAE my otp (:

ELF: Kangin must hold responsibility toward leeteuk!!
Kangin: i would hold responsibility even if you dont say it

KANGTEUK. KANGTEUK AND MORE KANGTEUK

ELF: Is cinderella HanKyung's or Simba's?
Heechul: Am i an item? *_*

aw, i wanted him to say hankyung >D

credits:
SR:http://blog.sina.com.cn/s/blog_6025bbab0100empw.htmlTranslated from chinese to eng by: limminhyo:)@sj-world.net

okay, this time idk if i can take out
they didnt say anything there
if cannot then sorry i'll delete this post.

?You're like a queen and beautiful

9:50 PM

Saturday, September 5, 2009

im lovin f(x) HEE.
ah.
i would fall in love with amber if she's a guy
I LOVE HER HAIRRRRR.
i think luna is really pretty (:
krystal is prettier than jessica
victoria dont look like a cheena at all
and i think sulli is the one and only ugly one in f(x)
LA CHA LA CHA TA TA <3

I PASSED MY PIANO EXAMMMMM.
just pass D:
but i still passed

friday was dad's birthday.
my dad is a cool cool guy
i love his job :D
HE ACTED IN BLOOD TIES (:
BUT ITS FUCKING M18 D:
oh well.

today is dad and mum's 22nd anniversary
tomorrow is mum's birthday

haha

i think i should start running
how could i stop
how could i assume that i really succeeded
how could i have been so dumb

" what is the dumbest letter in the alphabet list? "
"how i know"
"and dah answer is.... U!"
-.-

i agree.
im dumb
very in fact
running is a very good way to vent your anger, destress.
it really helps you stop thinking about whatever you don't want to think about but its just there in your mind.
im sad.
very.
but.
theres nothing much i can do about it but sit in front of heesica and continue being sad.
fuck.
my.
life.

?You're like a queen and beautiful

8:19 PM

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

&ifeellikecryingsomuchnow.

ahh
slept for 2 hours after school
teehee

reached about 12+ yesterday
i ended up watching the proposal with my cousins.
bought dad & mum's birthday present~

blood ties is so fucking COOL
the director is quite shuai and young.
younger than ashin by 1 year
and the lead actor is like so SHORT in real life
and the lead actress is the same age as us
and the person that got raped in the show is SHORTER than me
and so many actors and actress from mediacorp went to watch
(which means i saw them. no big deal. coz i got carried by them before when i still some hairless baby.)
and i talked to to patricia mok.
she's ugly
and i realised that my family is really SO EFFIN CONNECTED TO THE MEDIA INDUSTRY
that is not a very huge discovery

Phrase of the day: "mohana is a fucking bitch."
fine.
minus one lor.
(and i can only hope that mala would be nice enough tomorrow.)

&ihateimmatureandstupidpeoplethattrytoactbutfailbecauseitssofreakingobvious.

?You're like a queen and beautiful

4:41 PM

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

NUMBER 300.

FUCK
BLOOD TIES IS M18
okay i expected it to be

BUT STILL...
I WANT TO WATCH IT ):
FUCK FUCK FUCK

sigh ):

i finished homec!!
whee
and now i need to learn ting xie

?You're like a queen and beautiful

2:54 PM

ahh.
i somehow came across dbsk's picture of you mv.
i loved that song alot alot when i was still a cassie.
and the mv is nice.
and dbsk can sing really really well.
yoochun got back his awesome hair :D:D:D
his stand by u hair was.
urghs.

.___.

no.
im not going back to dong bang
although.
i really love their voices and songs
AHAHAHAHA

okay so.
actuallllly
i THINK i stopped the dbsk fandom 'cause they went to japan and got their hair screwed up and i didn't like stand by u
heck i really think stand by u is not a nice song.
superficial fan eh.

i can't help it.
sorry lor
who am i saying sorry to anyway.
junsu can sing well.
:D
jaejoong too
yoochun too
changmin too
yunho uh.
maybe too
ah
ah
ah

later gonna watch blood ties preview :D
MUST WATCH KAY
EVEN IF ITS SCARY
MUAH FATHER GOT ACT LEH.
okay heck forget it
gonna see irritating cousins ):
i dun like them ):
i think i said that alot of times before ):

?You're like a queen and beautiful

10:38 AM